Thursday, July 29, 2004

Election of Party President

As those of you who are Liberal Democrats will know Lord Dholakia is completing final term as Federal Party President at this Autumn’s Party Conference. As a result there is a ballot of all party members with the deadline for ballot papers reaching Cowley Street 27th August 2004.

So on Wednesday morning I received a copy of Liberal Democrats News, which had manifestos from both the candidates Simon Hughes MP and Lembit Opik MP.

When I first looked at the two manifestos I were very disappointed at the quality of the manifestos. I know I am not one to speak considering what my manifesto for LDYS GEM Elections was but I did expect better from Simon and Lembit.

What impressed me about Simon’s Manifesto was that he says he wants to build the appeal of the Liberal Democrats, build the support for the Liberal Democrats so that we have more members. Simon says he will introduce welcome packs for new members, make annual President’s reports and improve communication all year round. Which is all very impressive if I had the opportunity to ask questions on the basis of what his manifesto says I would ask,

1.    With a fairly anti Liberal Democrats press how does he intend to use the press to build the appeal of the Liberal Democrats?
2.    With the General Public being more and more sceptical about politics and politicians how does he intend to target people to increase our membership?
3.    How soon will these welcome packs for new members be sent out because currently there seems to be a never ending wait for membership cards to arrive after you have sent off your registration forms?
4.    How will he improve communications?

What impressed me about Lembits’s Manifesto was that he says he will continue to visit members countrywide and he'll continue to train our campaigners.
The questions I would ask Lembit are,
1.                How will he combine his role of MP, President and Front bench spokesperson to ensure that none of them suffer due to the other?
2.                How will he ensure that training is available to all and not only those who attend the conferences?

Now having had a look at the manifestos and having had a good think about I think I may just be ready to vote.
Good Luck to both the candidates.
Hilarious Insurance Claims and Reports

"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident".

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him."
Summer Holidays

It occurred to me that I am really sad person (yes at this point all those who know me say “you’ve just realised we’ve known for ages”).

Since my last exam which was A2 Unit 6 Economics on Monday 28th June 2004 I spent most of my time campaigning during the Hodge Hill by-election which was on 15th July and the only break I had during that time was……………………..............................................................................................
wait for it…………................................................................................................
the LDYS Federal Executive Handover Weekend.

Then when that was finished the following day I met with Mark Ramsden and Simon Drage, two fellow LDYS members to talk about what………………................
Politics and Studies.

Then on Saturday 17th July 2004 I was at a meeting of West Midlands Area National Union of Students Executive at Coventry University.

Then I spent Monday 19th and Tuesday 20th July helping Birmingham Focus on Blindness prepare for the fantastic Abseil and Zip Line event which they had organised at the Mailbox for the weekend of 24th & 25th July.

I spent the rest of that week at home doing nothing and then on Saturday helped Birmingham Focus on Blindness with Abseil and Zip Line at the Mailbox. Oh at some point in that week I prepared an Agenda for the LDYS NUS Committee Meeting, a Paper for the LDYS Federal Executive to approve and had a discussion with Dave Wood about some LDYS stuff. Apart from that on Wednesday I went to the bar-b-queue that was part of my friend Hash’s wedding and then on Saturday evening I went to actual wedding supper. Where I met lots of people who I usually only meet at people weddings.

Then on Sunday I was up at 6 YES! 6 o’clock in the morning to make sure that I left home early enough to get to Birmingham New Street for the 8:45 train to Northampton where I then had to change over to a bus which was suppose to get me to London Euston at 12pm. However the British Rail Network being the British Rail Network and it being a Sunday my train was delayed for 15 minutes at Birmingham New Street, then when we got to Rugby we had to change because there was a “mechanical problem” with the train we were on which meant we got to Northampton late and had to wait a little longer for coaches to arrive. Then we stuck in traffic due to a burst water pipe and finally arrived at London Euston at 12:25. Then I couldn’t use the map properly to get myself to University of London on Malet Street, so had to walk up and down Euston Road for a few minutes before finding a cab which would drop me and Mark Ramsden off close to University of London on Malet Street. Oh did I tell you that I popped into Boots to get a sandwich at some point.
Then off to the LDYS Federal Executive meeting which lasted for four hours (we get two breaks thanks to our chair Chris Lomax).

That was then followed by the LDYS NUS Committee Meeting which I closed after for the fear of missing the direct 18:35 London Euston to Birmingham New Street which was then delayed for 80 minutes. YES! I spent 1 hour 20 minutes loitering around Euston station. What was surprising was how calm I remained during this time. The only time when I was not calm during the day was when I had to put my navigation skills to the test and get to University of London on Malet Street from Euston station and from University of London on Malet Street to Euston station. I finally got home at 11:10, which was about 5 hours after I left University of London.

I then spent Monday recovering and reading the minutes, which Ryan had typed up brilliantly and I spent Tuesday transferring stuff from my computer to floppy disks. Then came Wednesday which I spent reading the manifestos of the candidates for the Liberal Democrats Presidential race and surfing the net.

So you see my life is really boring.

Just been looking through my diary for what’s to come:

Hodge Hill By-election Debrief: Date, Time and Venue to be confirmed
Handsworth Wood Post election get together: 30th July 04
Burton Constituency (East Staffordshire) Action day: 31st July 04
Policy Training: 4th August 04
WMLDYS Executive Meeting: 7th August 04
LDYS England Executive Meeting: 7th August 04
Perry Barr & Ladywood Local Party Executive Meeting: 10th August 04
Results Day: 19th August
NSLP training: 13th-15th September
Liberal Democrats Autumn Conference: 19th-23rd September 04, Bournemouth 

So it looks like it not going to end. So I thought maybe I should further my hobby of reading but the books on my reading list include The Future of Politics, An Intelligent Person's Guide to Liberalism and Give Me Ten Seconds, so it looks like the only way in which this could end is that I get a job. However that’s is not as easy as it sounds. So my boring life goes on.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Terrible Pickup Lines

Experience tells me there are some terrible pickup lines.

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the Venereal Disease Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do Not Enter."

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous."
Woman: "Thank you. It's in aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Thursday, July 22, 2004

HOW TO GIVE OVER 100%

This came through in an email from my friend Dave Wood and I thought it was too good not to share. 
 
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
 
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
 
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
 
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
 
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Political Compass

After much discussion about the Political Compass test with Adam Parsons I decided to take again on my 21st Birthday to see where I stand on the Economic Left/Right and the Social Authoritarian/Libertarian.
 
My results were:
Economic Left/Right: -1.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.03
 
If you take the test yourself let me know the results. I believe these results make me more right wing then Saddam Hussein, Yassir Arafat, Mugabe, Chricac, the Pope, Mandela and The Dalai Lama. these results make more Libertarian then anyone that they show on the their graph.
 
What was surprising is that all the Prime Ministers/Presidents etc shown on the graph are authoritarian.
 

Sunday, July 18, 2004

email addresses of  rich men in the world
 
15th on a yahoo search 
 
Surprised?
Leicester South & Birmingham, Hodge Hill

If you are a regular reader of this blog you will know that I have been busy since my last post due to my exams (which went really bad, DON’T ASK) and then this small thing sometimes referred to as “Super Thursday”.

Well what can I say, on the morning of Thursday 15th July 2004 the Liberal Democrats had 54 MPs. 52 Liberal Democrat MPs elected in the 2001 general election, along with Paul Marsden who switched from the Labour party in December 2001 and Sarah Teather, who won the Brent East by-election in September 2003 and by the early hours of Friday 16th July the Liberal Democrats had increased this to 55 with Councillor Parmjit Singh Gill becoming Councillor Parmjit Singh Gill MP. Unfortunately we did well in Hodge Hill but could not make Nicola Davies our 56th MP.

The Liberal Democrats won the Leicester South by-election overturning a massive Labour majority. The Conservatives who were second at the last General Election came third and proved that they are now irrelevant in Urban Britain. The Liberal Democrats and Parmjit Singh Gill MP who becomes the first Ethnic Minority MP for the party overturned Labours massive majority to prove that they are the only alternative to the Labour party in Urban Britain.

The result in Birmingham, Hodge Hill where I have spent most my time was also very good for the Liberal Democrats and again it emphasised that the Liberal Democrats are the only alternative to the Labour party in Urban Britain and that the Conservatives are irrelevant in Urban Britain. In the Birmingham, Hodge Hill the Liberal Democrats and our candidate Nicola Davies got an 27% swing which was larger then the 22% in Leicester South which made the defeat even more disappointing. In this formerly rock-solid Labour seat, their majority was slashed to just 460 votes.

So congratulations to Nicola and Parmjit on their success in the by-elections but most of all Thank you to all the Liberal Democrat activists who came from all across the country to help in either Birmingham or Leicester.