Monday, June 27, 2005

Dear Mr Khalid Mahmood MP,

I am writing to express my concerns about the government's plans to introduce ID cards and a national database of the whole population.

I believe the Bill with these plans in receiving its second reading in the House of Commons on Tuesday 28th June 2005 and I would like to ask that you vote against the Bill as the introduction of ID cards and a national database of the whole population will prove to be socially divisive, a tool for racists; restrict freedom of movement; increase stop and search of members of the ethnic minorities.

ID cards and a national database of the whole population will also be white elephant as Charles Clarke admits they will not stop terrorism or illegal immigration, this we know because criminals and terrorists do not play by the rules as they proved ion their attacks on New York, Washington and Madrid.

ID cards will also fail to prevent identity theft but could increase it by linking all information of an individual to one number or database.

As you will know Biometrics are far from "perfect" the inconvenience of errors and mismatches mean people risk becoming an 'unperson' and as you will know this government has history of IT failure (CSA collapse, passport delays, etc)

Above I have highlighted just some of the flaws of the government’s plans to introduce ID cards and a national database of the whole population. I strongly urge you to vote against the Bill and ask that you sign Early Day Motion 263, against Identity Cards.

If you have any questions or queries over my points then please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,
Adam Nazir Ahmed Teladia

Friday, June 24, 2005


NO2ID and Liberty will be holding a lobby on Parliament Square on the day of the Second Reading of the Identity Cards Bill, Tuesday 28th June.
Please assemble on the Square for a 12:00 noon photo opportunity, which will last about an hour. NO2ID and Liberty will be providing banners and some other props, but people are welcome to make their own anti-ID placards and take them along.
makepovertyhistory


Travel from BIRMINGHAM to EDINBURGH take the MPH Train departing: Friday 1st July (Birmingham International approx 12 noon), returning from Edinburgh on Sunday 3 July (approx 11am). The train will be calling at B’ham New St & Wolverhampton, exact times tbc. Travel time 7 hours


To book and for accommodation information please phone Travel Scot World on 0131 226 3246.


Go by Coach


Departures at various times on Fri 1 and Sat 2 July, leaving from various locations in Birmingham, return from Edinburgh on 2 July. To book a place please call UK Travel Solutions on 0845 006 0896

Cannibals
A large company recently hired several cannibals. "You are all part of our team now", said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please.........don't eat any of the employees". The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard. And I'm satisfied with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads "No".
After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?" A hand rose hesitantly. "You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NOOOooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!!!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

How old?
Already concern about hitting twenty two next but woke up to find the email below in my inbox which manage to put a smile on my face.
According to today’s regulators & bureaucrats, we kids of the 70s and early 80s probably shouldn’t be alive today:

1. Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which we promptly chewed and licked off.
2. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.
3. When we rode our bikes we wore no helmets, just flip flops and fluorescent spokey dokey’s on our wheels.
4. We would ride in cars with no seatbelts or airbags and sitting in the front was a treat.
5. We drank water from puddles and garden hoses, not from a bottle – and it tasted the same.
6. We ate chips, sweets, drank fizzy juice with sugar in it but we were never fat because we were outside playing.
7. We shared one drink with 4 friends, drinking from the same bottle, and no-one actually died from this.
8. We spent hours building go carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find we forgot the brakes. After crashing into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
9. We would leave home in the morning and play all day long as long as were back before dark. No-one was able to reach us and no-one minded.
10. We didn’t have playstations, x-boxes or video games. There weren’t 99 channels on the TV, no DVD’s, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers and no internet chat rooms.
11. We had friends and we went outside to find them. We played bulldogs and street rounders and sometimes that ball really hurt.
12. We fell out of trees and off walls and even broke bones but there were no law suits.
13. We had full fist fights but weren’t prosecuted by other parents.
14. We played knock door run and were actually afraid that we might get caught.
15. We walked to each other’s houses and believe it or not, to school! We didn’t rely on Mummy and Daddy driving us round the corner.
16. We made up games with sticks and balls.
17. We rode on bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood.
18. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of – they actually sided with the law!
19. We had freedom, failure, success & responsibility – and we learned to deal with it.
Today, the “Uptown Girl” they know is by Westlife and not Billy Joel. They have never heard of Bananarama, Nena or Belinda Carlisle. For them, there has only ever been one Germany and one Vietnam. AIDS has existed since they were born. CD’s have existed since they were born. Michael Jackson has always been white. To them, John Travolta has always been a lard ass and not the God of dance we know and love! They believe that Charlie’s Angels and Mission Impossible are films from last year. They could never imagine life without a computer. They’ll never have pretended to be The A-Team, The Kids from Fame or the Redhand Gang. They’ll never have asked Jim to fix it or written into Why Don’t You with a cool tip. They can’t believe that Black & White TV ever existed and don’t even know how to switch on a TV without a remote control. And they will never, never understand how we could leave the house without a mobile phone!!!
Yes, my friend – you too are getting old!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005



$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon


At a recent event, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the car industry and stated, "If General Motors (GM) had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Gates comments, GM issued a press release stating, if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, wasreliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light
7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lockyou out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off
2 women talking on how they died
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died:
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible.
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer - we'd both still be alive...!!!
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Words Of Wisdom


1. If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.


2. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.


3. Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.


4. The best vitamin for making friends ....B1.


5. The 10 commandments are not multiple choice.


6. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.


7. Minds are like parachutes...they function only when open.


8. Ideas won't work unless YOU do.


9. One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.


10. One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.


11. The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.


12. Don't learn safety rules by accident.


13. We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.


14. Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.


15. A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.


16. One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.


17. A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.


AND FINALLY...


18. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!

Monday, June 13, 2005

Mark Ramsden told me about this article sometime ago now but unfortunately I have not been able to read it sooner due to a lack of time. I thought some of the points the article raised and some of the comments made were interesting.
The second paragraph of the article starts “In just over a month's time, up to 200,000 people will converge on the G8 summit in Scotland for a rally organised by Make Poverty History”. The fact that there is the potential of 200,000 people travelling to Edinburgh to protest on an issue which does not necessarily come too high on the list of issues which people think of when voting is surely a sign of the success of the Make Poverty History movement.
The article also refers to Oxfam as “the UK's biggest development organisation”. I am certain that Oxfam didn’t get to this position easily. It had to work and get results to ensure it had the support of the public and the money to be able to do things and the only way you can get people to give you more of their support, money and time is by getting results.
The article also quotes someone as saying, "They (Oxfam) have incredible access, and what that has meant is that Oxfam are the ones who are always asked to speak for the whole development movement. And they differ on policy from other groups. They have decided that, in the longer term, their lot is best served by being in with Labour and they go out on a limb to endorse the government." Well when you have a movement that consists of over 400 different organisations it is highly likely that the bigger organisations will be approached for comment by the press or for information by those you deal with. The point about difference on policy I am almost certain that if most of the organisations that are members of the Make Poverty History movement asked ten different members their opinions on policy they would that they differ at some point this is bound to happen in all sorts of organisations whether they are political parties, trade union, students unions, NGOs.
The article goes on to say “The dilemma is acute: to what extent should NGOs not just co-operate with Whitehall but be seen to be integral to a government campaign? In my personal opinion cooperation with Whitehall is a means to an end, so as long as you can get what you want co-operate with Whitehall as long as it not against the principles or beliefs of your organisation.
On the issue of criticizing the government I think Politicians are like students and need to be congratulated and rewarded when they have done well and told how they could have done something better. So for example when the government makes a commitment to reaching the 0.7% of GDP to International Aid target by 2013, NGOs and International Development charities should welcome this but also bring it to the public and governments attention that if the government spent some of the money it currently using subsidising the International Arms Trade it could meet this target sooner.
Another issue which single issue groups don’t pay attention to when they make demands of governments is that the responsibility of the government is to ensure various issues are taken care of such as foreign and commonwealth affairs, the economy, constitutional affairs, culture, media, sport, defence, education, environment, rural affairs, health, international development, trade, industry, transport, pensions etc not just the issue that you are interested in.

Went on to the Death Clock site today and took the test. If I got all my details right then my personal day of death (according to Death Clock) is.…. Thursday, April 30, 2020.

So I will die just before my 37th birthday, so with my 22nd coming up soon I less then 15 years to get through everything I want to do before I die.

I guess the first stage will be to come up with a list of everything I want to do before I die.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Ladies Kitchen Accesory



Example

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Using the Friends of the Earth The Big Ask website I have just sent Khalid Mahmood MP my local MP the following letter.

Dear Mr Khalid Mahmood MP,

All major political parties have recognised the importance of tackling climate change, which the Government's Chief Scientific Adviser said is the greatest threat the planet faces.

Yet despite this, carbon dioxide emissions have risen recently just when they need to be cut. Although all major political parties support long term targets for cutting carbon dioxide which scientists say we must meet to avoid the worst impacts of climate change, I am worried that without more regular milestones and much more detailed reporting and scrutinising of progress, we will drift further and further from these targets.

I therefore hope you will sign EDM 178 tabled by Michael Meacher, John Gummer and Norman Baker supporting the Climate Change Bill. This would require annual reductions of 3% in carbon dioxide emissions, regular reporting and provide mechanisms that would correct failing policies.

I do hope you will sign the EDM.

Yours sincerely,
Adam Nazir Ahmed Teladia

Thursday, June 02, 2005

BBQ, a real man's cooking...


It's the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:


(1) The woman buys the food.


(2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.


(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill -- beer in hand.


Here comes the important part:


(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.


More routine....


(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.


(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.


Important again:


(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.


More routine.....


(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.


(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.


And most of all:


(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women............
The pastor & his donkey
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse-racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races.


To his surprise, the donkey came in third.

The next day the local paper carried this headline:

PASTOR'S ASS SHOWS

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.