Liverpool beat Milan on penalties

Since I have a lot of family (some of whom have never been to the city) I thought I should just sau congratulations on the victory. I never thought you would do it.

WaterAid and her book “Troubled Water” on 27 July at the University of Reading from 7pm onwards.


Anita Roddick, a supporter of WaterAid recently published her book “Troubled Water”, an examination of the global water crisis and the role played by the international water industry.


The evening will include presentations from Anita Roddick and Stephen Turner, Head of Planning and Development at WaterAid and a question & answer session with a panel of experts comprising of Dame Anita Roddick, Stephen Turner, Richard Aylard (External Affairs Director at WaterAid, Swift House, Frimley Business Park, Camberley, GU16 7SQ. Please make cheques payable to WaterAid, include a return address for the tickets.


For more information please contact wateraid@environment-agency.gov.uk.

30 Lines to Make You Smile



1. My husband and I divorced our religious differences...He thought he was God and I didn't.



2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.



3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!



4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.



5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.



6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.



7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.



8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.



9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.



10. I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.



11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.



12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.



13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.



14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.



15. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.



16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?



17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.



18. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.



19. Procrastinate Now!



20. I have a degree in Liberal Arts; do you want fries with that.



21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.



22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance



23. Stupidity is not a disability. Park elsewhere!



24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.



25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.



26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.



27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.



28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.



29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.



30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on

They Work for You

Since thats the case (at least in theory) I thought I should send my local MP an email. Full text below.

Dear Mr Khalid Mahmood MP,

I write to you tom congratulate you on your success in the recent general election and ask that in the new parliament you make an effort to convince the government to take Action on Global Poverty in 2005.

Can I ask that you start by signing Early Day Motion 14 - ACTION ON GLOBAL POVERTY IN 2005 and write to the Prime Minister asking that the UK government fight to ensure that governments, particularly in poor countries, can choose the best solutions to end poverty and protect the environment, End export dumping that damages the livelihoods of poor rural communities around the world, Make laws that stop big business profiting at the expense of poor & vulnerable people and the environment, Use its EU Presidency to bring forward reform of the Common Agriculture Policy from 2013, Use its EU Presidency and Chairmanship of the G8 to cancel all the unpayable debts of the world’s poorest countries by fair and transparent means and Use its EU Presidency and Chairmanship of the G8 to set a binding timetable for all G8 countries to spend 0.7% of national income on aid.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Adam Nazir Ahmed Teladia

The Independent Campaign for Democracy

Dear Mr Blair,

I believe that the result of this month's election, in which your government was elected with a 67-seat majority on 36% of the popular vote and with the support of 22% of the electorate, is a subversion of our democracy.

I call on you, in your final term as Prime Minister, to institute urgent reform of our voting system so that the British people are encouraged to believe that their votes count and that the result of a general election is more representative of their wishes.

"I will refuse to register for an ID card but only if 3,000,000 people will sign up."


If 3,000,000 people sign up to not register for an ID Card, I wont too. I have already sign and from the list can see that a few people I know have also done so.


If you have not signed so far why don’t you take this opportunity to sign and please encourage others to do so too.


The deadline is 1st January 2007. With 322 people having signed up so far, only another 2,999,678 more needed.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2005, WHEN..


1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.


2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.


3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.


4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.


5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.


6. You go home after a long day at work and still answer the phone in a business manner.


7. You make phone calls from home and accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.


8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.


10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.


11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.


12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.


13. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.


14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.


15. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.


16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-)


17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.


18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.


19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.


20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

BEER CALCULATOR


This is pretty neat how it works out.

This is cool beer/wine maths!!!!!!!

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute...

Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have a pint or a glass or two of wine.
(Try for more than once)


2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be honest)


3. Add 5. (for Sunday)


4. Multiply it by 50...I'll wait while you get the calculator!










5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755. If you haven't, add 1754.


6. Now subtract the four-digit year that you were born.


You should have a three-digit number


The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have a pint week).


The next two numbers are.....


YOUR AGE! ~ (Oh YES, it IS!!!!! )


THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

Make Votes Count Successful vigil during Queen's Speech


A number of supporters of electoral reform gathered outside Downing Street in a vigil during the Queen's speech yesterday.


There was a great start to the day with an opinion poll on the front page of the Independent showing that following the general election a massive 62 per cent of the electorate disagree with Blair on electoral reform.


Most supporters (OK, everyone but me) wore gags, to symbolise the limited voice that people have in our inadequate democracy where securing just over 30% of the vote can give you a majority of 60 something. Supporters also held placards reading, "Tony Blair are you listening?" and "make my vote count".

Jean Lambert MEP (Green Party), Lord David Lipsey (Chair, Make Votes Count), Julia Goldsworthy MP (Liberal Democrats), Richard Burden MP (Labour), and Danny Alexander MP (Liberal Democrats) delivered a message from the protesters to the Prime Minister in number 10 Downing St. and we waved our placards as he and later the Queen swept past on their way to Parliament.

Make Votes Count vigil

Join the Make Votes Count vigil from 9am to 12pm on Tuesday 17th May during the Queen's Speech. Join make votes count demand for a referendum on voting reform during this parliament.

Come to Whitehall opposite Downing Street, just by Westminster tube. Bring your own gag (to illustrate how the voters voice is not heard).

Make Poverty History


Millions to link up for world's poor

In the next 50 days, you can change the world for good

Mandy and the Temple of Trade

Have Fun!

Protect Darfur Rally

The Protect Darfur Rally will be taking place outside 10 Downing Street,12.30pm, Sunday 15 May.

At the very start of its third term, it’s vital to put Government notice that aid is not enough. And we can’t leave Darfur’s survivors to protest alone. The Government needs to know that when genocide happens, we all care about it – and we’ll hold it to its promises to protect.

This is a matter of life and death. 400,000 deaths since 2003. With 500 more lives lost every day. That means one African in Darfur is murdered every three minutes – just because they’re African.

LDYS Executive re-shuffle


On 1st July the LDYS Executive Committee will be going through its annual re-shuffle. Current Chair, Chris Lomax will leave to be replaced by current Vice Chair Communication Job-share Gez Smith. The other half of the current Vice Chair Communication Jade Farrington will move to Vice Chair Campaigns to replace Chris Keating who like Chris Lomax is leaving the LDYS executive. The current Vice Chair Communication team will be replaced by Adam Nazir Ahmed Teladia (currently a General Executive Member) and Mark Ramsden (currently LDYS England Chair). Steve Harper who currently serves as a General Executive Members will be replacing Vice-Chair Membership Development Thomas Paul & Vivienne Raper while Martyn Hencher another one of the current General Executive Members will be replacing Vice-Chair Finance Will Howells who leaves the executive after two years in the post.


With Steven Harper, Martyn Hencher and Adam Nazir Ahmed Teladia from the current General Executive Members moving to Vice Chair roles and Alison Cross, Rob Tiffen and Joe Towler all leaving Paddy Kent will be the only General Executive Member who remains in his current. Alex Woodman, Christopher Leslie, Patrick Murray, Paul Evans, Paul Pettinger, Peter Bancroft and Simon Drage join Paddy Kent as General Executive Members to complete the team of eight General Executive Members on the executive.


Yes, ok, the LDYS elections took place recently and we found out that the executive team for 2005/2006 will be:


Chair: Gez Smith
Vice Chair Campaigns: Jade Farrington
Vice Chair Communications: Adam Teladia/Mark Ramsden (Job Share)
Vice Chair Finance: Martyn Hencher
Vice Chair Membership Development: Steve Harper
General Executive Members: Alex Woodman, Christopher Leslie, Paddy Kent, Patrick Murray, Paul Evans, Paul Pettinger, Peter Bancroft, and Simon Drage


I am very excited about the new executive that will take over from 1st July. Its great to see that people I currently enjoy working with such as Gez Smith, Jade Farrington, Martyn Hencher, Steve Harper and Paddy Kent have been elected. While I was disappointed that Gavin Whenman didn’t make it but I am pleased that Christopher Leslie, Patrick Murray, Paul Pettinger and Simon Drage all whom I know have been elected. I was also pleased to find that Peter Bancroft a man great knowledge on International Politics was also elected. I hope Peter can add something to our international campaigns.


I am disappointed that Chris Keating who has been really supportive and helpful to me in my first year on the LDYS executive is leaving. I wish him the very best of luck with whatever he chooses to do in the future and I hope that we work again together before too long.

I'm loaded.It's official.

I'm loaded. It's official. I'm the 827,813,713 richest person on earth! How rich are you? >>

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:


1) You believe in Santa Claus.


2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.


3) You are Santa Claus.


4) You look like Santa Claus.




SUCCESS:


At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

The truth about life !!!!!


GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

For when you take life too seriously ...


1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like... night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel as if I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just do not have film.
29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
31. Eagles may soar, but weasels do not get sucked into jet engines.
32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
37. Just remember, if the world did not suck, we would all fall off.
38. Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.